Thursday, March 10, 2011

Jeanne Kraus, C.M.

     OK, the CM, if you did not figure it out already, stands for Certified Moron. I find now that I can even embarrass myself on the phone. Yesterday I got a suspicious call.

      A voice asked to speak to "Jeannine Krotch." Dead give away that it is not a best friend calling. He tells me he is from my bank that holds my car loan. He asks for my address. Then my zip code. When he gets to my birth date my mind flashes to the TV programs about telephone fraud. I figure I am right now becoming a victim. Before I disclose my birthdate, my phone and my bra size, I decide to be careful.

     I inform the patient person on the other end that I am not comfortable giving out my information.
I have averted an identity theft problem. Next morning I call the company and talk to another person.
 I explain my situation and he asks me some questions.

   "Do you have the phone number of who called you on caller id?"

    I did but it is at the other phone and since I am in a cast it would take me an hour to get there. So I decline to go get it, without explaining. His voice becomes cool.

     "What kind of car is it? What make and year?"

     "Uh, I don't know. Toyota, one of those sedans. Couple years old, maybe?"

     I don't sound like I am too alert. Finally he digs up the information and informs me. "Oh, yes, I see what the problem is. You are 13 days late on your payment."

     "How could that be? I just mailed it and it was 2 weeks early."
     I looked again at the payment stub. It had been due in February, not March. Wrong month. Which means I have another one to pay somewhere. Damn. I decided I better come clean and get some sympathy.

     "Well, see I have a broken leg here and all these bills are piling up on my desk and I must have forgotten them."

      Dead silence.
     "The check's in the mail now as we speak. It has been a hard time here. I usually don't have late payments." I know how lame I sound. I'm babbling.
     "Yes, ma'am." His tone sounds like the voices of emotionless orderlies in the white coats at the retirement home.
Our conversation is over. Jeanne Kraus rules.

4 comments:

Michael Offutt said...

lol. That's a funny story. Oh bills...what would we do without them? Probably have much more fun.

Angela Scott said...

Been there. Done that. It happens. I look foolish all the time :) Just ask my husband.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Sharon said...

I thought CM meant Cranky Mom. I was expecting a wild kids story. Thank you for sharing your scary tale. I'd probably hide in the closet and pass the check out to whoever came by first.

Kari Marie said...

LOL. It happens. Thanks for sharing.

I am a complete idiot on the phone. It's like my brain falls out of my head if I can't see the other person to keep me from getting distracted by lint or patterns in the carpet...