Saturday, December 31, 2011

Shopping for a Dress

     Well it has happened again. I have had to resort to shopping. I discovered that you cannot buy an outfit online when you are the mother of the groom. At least I can't. There are some particular issues about my body that make it difficult for me to find a dress that looks even remotely decent on me. Sweatshirts and jeans are fine but when you have to notch it up a bit and dress for your son's wedding, well... 

Not my style

Not me

  So I have spent days and nights surfing the internet. I found lots of wonderful dresses for MOG's (Mothers of the Groom) but all of them seem to have been Miss America hopefuls.

     Well I resorted to finding what looked like a perfect chiffon dress on E-Bay, brand new, in champagne color. Gorgeous and I was pretty positive it would fit. Today I repacked it to send it back to the seller along with the following note:

     I am very sad to say that I must return this item to you. I absolutely love it but I look like a stuffed sausage in it. It is tight around the top and I am basically shaped like a large baked potato so I look pretty horrible in it. If no one looks at me from the side, I am not too bad, but I don't think I can get through my son's wedding walking at right angles to everyone. I would certainly buy from you again if you were to come up with something that would fit around me.  Sincerely, JK

Are muumuus appropriate?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Flash Mobs for the Holidays

     Flash Mobs are the latest rage. And they are so much fun to watch, and, I assume, to participate in. Although no one has asked me. But I am available. I have here for your viewing pleasure, 2 flash mobs. One is just your average Food Court Holiday Flash Mob sung by an amazing group of people. The other is...well, a Target Flash Mob for Senior Citizens. I'd like to think I would fit into the first. I know that I probably look more like the second. Merry Christmas!

Merrry Christmas FLash Mob

Senior Flash Mob


Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Sniff Test

     I hope you are all looking for the funny in life. It is there all the time. I probably run into 3-4 stories a day that I could write about, showing my unique Jeanne Kraus perspective on them. But they are there, just waiting for you to reflect on them.
      My son, Jeff, and his fiancee, Shannon came over to visit today. Being that it is Christmas Eve, they are here for a few days, which makes me very happy indeed. Along with them came Abbey, Mutt Extraordinaire, who is the subject of many of our funny stories. 
Foot Pads or Fritos? You be the judge.
    Today's story came compliments of Jeff. 
    "Did you know that all dogs' foot pads smell like Fritos?" he asked conversationally. 
     He went on to tell us that one day at work, a number of years ago, one of his co-workers, perhaps after too much of some illegal substance, confided in him, "Yo, Dude, did you know that all dogs' feet smell like Fritos?" 

Fritos or Dog Feet? You be the judge!

     Now Jeff is the original Show Me and Prove it to Me or I'm Taking You Down kind of person. He went home, researched and stuck his nose into each one of Abbey's paws, and came to his own conclusions. He was right! We don't know for sure that it is every dog...but we haven't found one that doesn't pass the sniff test. Try it!

Sniff! Sniff!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

       My days of spending time at the doctor have dwindled down to maybe one out of every ten days. The latest thing I have noticed in some of the doctors' offices is that they move you around like cattle moving closer to the slaughterhouse. 

    The last 2 visits I had, I got called to fill out the forms, called again to bring my co-pay, called to go into the inner sanctum (YAY!) and put in a second waiting room. I can't complain because I got to watch the Ellen show in its entirety but really! Why so long of a wait? Last week was three hours' wait and it took so long that they were not able to do the procedure on me that they wanted because the nurse left at 5:00 and I had not been seen yet. So I had to come back the next day. 

     Different Doctor: Today the nurse once again ushered me into a second waiting room with a TV where I was able to catch an episode of Matlock, enjoying the 70's hairstyles. The major complaint I had about this room was that a gum-chewing woman came and sat next to me. A clicker and a clacker and a popper and a bubble blower, all infused with a uncharmingly fruity scent. Barf! I was relieved when they came to get me. 

     But the good news is that I will be signing a contract for my third children's book with Magination Press. I am anxious to work on it...I love their books. That's the latest with me! What's up with you?

Sunday, December 18, 2011

What Has Happened to Me?

     Hopefully SOMEONE has noticed that I have not blogged as of late. I think I am lost in gameland. I have gone totally crazy over "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" Although I never watch it on TV, I do enjoy the online version. I like trivia challenges, and you have to think fast, which I need to work on. Between that and "Words With Friends" I have been busy. The good thing is that I am off for 2 weeks for winter break. I am feeling back to my normal self now so am happy about that. I have a couple of things to share here on my blog. The first was a nice surprise. Google informed me that someone had created a book trailer for my first book. Big surprise to me, I finally tracked down the creator and it is a college student studying elementary education who liked my book. That was cool.

The second video is one to get you in the spirit of the season. I love it. I play it almost every day because it is so captivating. Happy Holidays!

P.S. This was filmed in a mall near where I grew up.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Christmas Spirit

The Wise Shopper!
     My spirit seems to be a little lacking this year, being that I am recovering at home. However, when I look at things going on in other places, I think maybe I'm not doing too bad. As I surfed the net to find Christmas presents for my family, finding some great bargains, I might add, I run across the story of the great Black Friday debacle.

Enter at Your Own Risk!
     I believe it was in a Wal-Mart where a woman stormed the store armed with pepper spray, which she used liberally, to get the video games on sale. People were dropping like flies. I was appalled. I do remember standing in long lines to get Cabbage Patch Kids, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but none of us felt inclined to incapacitate one another in our quest. The article went on to say that someone who knew her, was "proud of her."  Personally I feel that she should have those video games ripped out of her possession and make her shop again. I guess her golden rule is "Do unto others before they do unto you."

    The other interesting tidbit of information I found was one about an ongoing battle in Doylestown Station. Evidently the homeowner's association has decreed that only white lights will be allowed for outside decorating. Unfortunately, some of the homeowners want colorful lights. They can have their colorful lights, at a $10.00 per day fine. 
     So here I am in my Tamarac cocoon, healing nicely, watching the decorations go up on the houses on my block, and avoiding the pepper-spray laden crowds at the mall. Life isn't so bad after all!