Punny Stuff

I love puns and plays on words. I probably will have to include some in my next book, which I am intermittently working on. I get a lot from e-mails so thought I would send some your way if you have not seen them already.
One of my favorites was an email about the "family tree" about Vincent Van Gogh, whose name leads to a lot of punnery. A couple of the entries were...
His dizzy aunt...Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes...Gotta Gogh
The fruit lover... Man Gogh
The bouncy nephew...Poe Gogh
The magician uncle... Where Diddy Gogh

If that was not enough, how about some punny sayings?

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control her pupils.
A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
(great visual)
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What is the difference between a miser and a canary? One's a little cheap and the
other is a little cheeper.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to
do it.
When I saw my first strands of gray hair, I thought I'd dye.

OK OK I'm done...for now. I am a real fan of the pun!