Thursday, October 7, 2010


Well once again I can't sleep so don't read this with a really critical eye. It may not make sense. It may have a row of zzzzzzzzzz's across it that I miss when I edit. It may be in a heretofore unknown language. If it is coherent, that is better than most of my ramblings.
When the kidney stone blasted from my body, and I will assume for now that it really did and it is not some giant hoax perpetrated on Jeanne Kraus, it must have taken away my ability to sleep. All I do is drink and pee. Then I stare into the toilet, which is black, and try to see if I have peed a kidney shrapnel. They did not give me a little strainer so I am left wondering if the gravel and grit is indeed leaving me or traveling to a more funky area of my body.
I read an article at the waiting room though that I wanted to share with you. Equality has now hit the auto safety industry and they are now using female crash dummies. This is probably what is keeping me awake. How can they use female dummies? First of all, men have been pretty appropriate, because no matter what you build they are pretty much the same. They can measure the extent of their injuries by checking their brain and looking for evidence of damage to the TV-watching area, the testosterone level, and the fact that if the dummy had been looking where it was going it would not be sitting there decapitated. Also, the dummy's inability to ask for directions probably would have cut back on the number of accidents. Researchers, realizing this inequity, have now turned to women.
Women, being insightful and able to multi-task will find that their dummies' results will be skewed. Will there be make-up and hair brushes provided for the dummies who are not quite ready when they get in the car? Will there be low maintenance dummies like me who won't have to have that issue? Will the cup sizes be different on the dummies' bras to add absorbency impact?
And what about dummies who have resorted to plastic surgery? Do we need to know how that affects their liposuction, or their nose job?
Will the crash dummies revert to their wild state and look immediately for any male crash dummy for help? How will this work? I can't imagine. I thinking that these experts have a lot more work to do before unleashing these women dummies on the world!
One more thing...will they all be blonde?

1 comment:

Sharon said...

So funny, Jeanne! Great job. Sleepiness produced some errors, but a funny story.
Take care and keep writing.