Make Life Easier

Everything is a crisis in the U.S. People are always worried about their rights being trampled on. Their privacy being invaded. The latest one in the news is the full-body scanners at the airports. Now, personally, I have no negative feelings whatsoever about full body scans. If they want to see my innermost body workings, more power to them. I will not be responsible, however, if they gasp in horror and pitch over dead in a heart attack. As a matter of fact, I intend to wear a shirt that states clearly and simply "Enter At Your Own Risk."

I don't know what the big brouhaha is all about. I feel safer knowing that everyone's crotches and armpits are being explored. Other body openings are perfect for little mini-weapons just waiting to be used. I do have some suggestions for the airline companies to make it more appealing to those who find it degrading.

1. The obvious answer is to let them find alternate transportation. Perhaps a bicycle could be provided for those people who feel violated.
2. If the TSA people could have specialized agents for the scanning that would help. (I am thinking Richard Gere, Brad Pitt, the Chippendales, Calendar firemen, People's Sexiest Men of the Year.) Any guy that looks good in a Speedo would be okay for the women. And for the men, some Playboy bunnies, Hooter's girls, and anybody topless would be okay.
3. I know that I myself would plan on flying more often if Richard Gere was doing body searches. Maybe once a day or more.
4. If that plan does not seem feasible, then let's get x-ray technicians to the airports and have them do a body scan, print out how our health is, and give us a free check-up along with each trip. The best for me would be of course having Richard Gere do the scan and passing the information on to a technician who would then interpret it.
5. There are a lot of benefits to this type of security precautions. Not only will we be safer, we will be happier travelers.