Wednesday, January 4, 2012

E-Shopping Blues

     Since I was recovering from pneumonia just before Christmas, I did most of my shopping on-line. On-line shopping is a great invention. I heartily recommend it, as long as you are careful what you are shopping for. My family makes out wish lists on, which is very helpful when you need a gift. I imagine that started in this way: 

Oodles of Underwear

     Cory: Hey, Jeff, what did you get from Mom and George for Christmas? 
     Jeff: Socks, underwear, a new toothbrush, shirts, pants. The usual. 
A Trove of Toothbrushes

     Cory: Yeah, me too. I have a pile of underwear that could rival the landfill near Quiet Waters Park. 
     Jeff: Me, too. How much underwear can you wear at one time, anyway? I have an idea. Let's do an Wish List for Mom to look at. Then we can get cool electronic stuff that we REALLY need! 
Another good idea is born!
     Cory: Great!

     And the wish list was born. So now shopping is easy.

These toilets are made from dollar bills!

For that personalized traditional ornament.

      It's  easier for my sister, who likes anything tacky like horrible movies and things with toilet-related themes, such as tree ornaments, etc. 

     This year, I had no more than the usual shopping stress online. Of course, there are the ratings to fill out so that the vendors can get their online compliments. I must admit that I felt a trifle weird filling out the survey on my sister's gift, a computer mouse pad with "Paging Dr. Doody" on it, a steaming picture of dog doody on it. It was from the Mr. Poo Company, in case you are interested.
     The hardest thing I tried to do was to find a dress for my son's wedding online. Whatever possessed me to do that I don't know. I think I was still on some heavy duty meds from my hospital stay.
     I searched and searched for a dress that would make me look like Jennifer Aniston or even just Phyllis Diller, but it was an uphill battle. Finally I found a 2 piece dress that looked good, was the right size and was pretty. 
     I took a gamble on it.  The dress was beautiful. The chiffon skirt was very pretty and the beaded top lovely. And the price? Excellent! I oh'ed and ah'ed as I removed it from its package. I hurried to try it on.
     I could not get it down past my neck without severe respiratory difficulty. So sad. 
A Cardinal Ruler
The Cardinals Rule?

     So I packed it up and sent it back to the seller, explaining my dilemma. (You can see the letter in an earlier post). Today I got not one, but 2 strongly worded emails from the seller. Not only had I broken a Cardinal Rule by sending it to her without permission, but it now had magically developed a stain on the unworn skirt.  So she wanted to charge me a 20.00 restocking fee and have the dress cleaned. If there was any refund left, she would send it to me albeit grudgingly. 

     Oh, and...she hoped that I would give her a good rating on the E-Bay listing. When pigs fly, baby!


Click said...

I really think I need to write shorter vignettes. You inspire me. Click

Click said...

I need to write shorter vignettes. You inspire me.

Jeanne said...

I like that you did this twice. Is this an example of a shorter vignette?
That is why I like blogging. I can tell a little story in a short time for people to read. It is not overwhelming in length and I break it up with graphics for fun. Or something. But I get so blog-happy I quit working on my book!

Michael Offutt, Visitor from the Future said...

The pictures are really clever.

DearHelenHartman said...

Sadly online shopping does not deliver us from the real thing that makes the process maddening. Other people. If we could just whip them into shape, life would be a breeze. First visit to your blog via the humor writer's list and instant follower.

Bodacious Boomer said...

I've never bought clothing online; but I know I'm in the minority where that's concerned.

As far as the gifts- from my mom it was slipper socks. I don't know how many pairs I got of them over the years from my mom; but it was a lot.

Juanena said...

shopping for toys from Toysrus for the grandkids I am raising was mostly a breeze this year saved me a lot of time, and aggravation. But I do know I will start a lot earlier nex year