Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Drums of War

     Today, I have discovered how techno-useless I truly am.
      “Not true,” you say. “You already know that. We all know that!”
     Well, today I reached the true depths of techno-despair. George and I  tried out our new Tom-Tom, instrument of torture we received as a gift from my eldest son Jeff and his fiancée Shannon.
     The first problem we  had with said Tom-Tom is that I wanted to change the voice to a manly one with a British accent.  I was not able to accomplish that feat. We settled for the robot woman voice that was installed in it already. Some things are just too much work to change.
     We were set for our little journey across town. As a precaution, I had looked up our destination on MapQuest and had the map with us. Once in the car, I took charge of the Tom-Tom and tried to input our destination address.  The realization that it would have helped to read the directions did not deter us from attempting to use it.
     I finally got it together and sat holding this little wonder of technology that was going to get to our desired location. George looked at me with irritation.
     “Can you put it on the windshield so I can see it?”
     I was annoyed. “But then I can’t see it. The sun is blocking it out from my side.”
     Nevertheless George had his way and we put the Tom-Tom on the windshield. It fell down. We both scrabbled to get it off the floor. Once again he put it up. It fell down.  I did not mention that it had been just fine when I was holding it in my hand.
     He finally got it mounted on the windshield but now the screen had gone blank. My husband was now done with the Tom-Tom.
     I took the little thing and reset it, amidst a few colorful words.  Voila! It worked. It actually was pretty amazing. We were fascinated with our new toy.
     After our errands,  George asked, “Can it get us back home again?”

     Common sense told me that it could. Jeanne-Sense told me that I did not know how to make that happen.
     “Can you just get home yourself?” I asked him.
     “Yes,” he answered. He drove us home, minus Tom-Tom help. Next time we will use it for both ways. Baby steps.


Melissa said...

Our navigation device, Madge (Magellan), would respond to "Magellan" with a pleasant, "Please say a command." Problem was, every time we played an audio book, Madge would awaken at any word spoken by the narrator that sounded anything like "Magellan" (jail, gel, Jill, Madonna). My husband liked to shout the name of a certain lady's part to see if Madge would respond. She sometimes did, much to his amusement.

Jeanne said...

Truly funny. I believe I was commenting on your blog as you were commenting on mine. We were in parallel universes! Cool!

Perhaps the next audio book you read should be The Vagina Chronicles.

Sharon said...

My dad used to say, "If all else fails, read the instructions." At least you got where you were going. I'm technologically challenged so I'd be a mess with a navigation device.

Jody Worsham said...

I LOVE my Tom tom, except sometimes I forget it's giving me 800 yard warnings and I turn too fast. Smart daughter programed in my home, her home and my favorite casino. The rest I can type in the address.
the voice scares me when I'm on a long trip and she hasn't said anything for about an hour. I always jump!

Bodaciousboomer said...

Have you seen the Out-of Towners with Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin? If not, get it. The GPS scene is priceless.

Sunkissed Adventures said...

I've had a little Tom Tom for a few years and mine has NEVER stayed mounted on the window.

My trick is to lick the suction cup and then stick it on the windshield, sure my windshield has marks all over it, but it stays up longer that way. :)

There is a way to program your home into it. From that point forward all you have to do is push HOME.

Sam said...

I love the insurance commercial with mayhem guy with the old guy crashing his car because he didn't update his GPS. Hilarious! Smashed his car, auto glass everywhere!