Cruise 2014

Norwegian Getaway Ship

Safety First

Before you can have any fun on a cruise, you have to do a Safety Drill.

George wanted to get ready for the Safety Drill. He dove under the bed to drag out the lifejackets. He made me put my arms up in the air so he could fit it on me properly.

Then he continued to read the directions.

“Jeanne,” he said. “It says here that we have to dress in warm clothes and bring all our medications.” I am picturing us layered in our tropical clothing, laden with our meds. I made an executive decision.

“We are not doing that, George. I am sure they mean in the case of a real emergency.” He was disappointed.

He was also a bit disappointed when the steward told us that we did not have to put our life jackets on for the drill. He wanted us to feel the peril.

We got to the Safety Drill area, which was coincidentally a bar. The steward told us that we must scan our guest cards carefully because EVERYONE has to participate in the Safety Drill. Those whose cards are not scanned have to come to a Make-Up Safety Drill the next day or the next or the next. George and I looked at the slate of events listed for each day and guffawed at the fact that there were still Make-Up Safety Drills the last day of the cruise.

“Hey, George!” “I laughed. “Ha ha ha! There must be some losers out there who still haven’t done their Safety Drill.” It did my heart good to know that we did ours the first day and those slugs who never do anything on time might be having to do a Safety Drill while we were dancing in a conga line.

So back to the Safety Drill. Rules for the drill were simple: No Food, no drinks, no electronics. They want you to pay attention to them, not your drink, not your wiener, not your cell phone. I thought it was a good plan. Then I saw why we teachers have so much trouble getting kids to follow rules.

A nice looking family sat nearby. Mom, Dad and 2 boys. The boys were both drinking sodas and eating chips out of bags. Mom was on her cell phone. A staff member came by and asked them to put their food, drink and cell phone away. They complied until she turned around. Then they all went back to what they were doing.

“Hey, Mom!” I wanted to say. “Thanks for the great role modeling.”

Omar, the Almost-Comedian, was the steward who presented the Safety Drill over the very loud microphone. He could be very annoying if you were not on vacation and were letting nothing bother you. He would remind us of the magical sound when the cruise line wanted to get your attention!

“Ding! Dong!” would go the very loud chimes over the P.A. You were instantly to become quiet and listen for important news. During the Safety Drill, he kept trying to keep over 1000 people in our area quiet.

Omar: I have a feeling the magical sound is coming again soon. Listen for the magical sound.

Jeanne: (to George) I am going to give him a magical finger gesture if he does not get moving on this Safety Drill.

Omar: Listen and be quiet. The magical sound is coming on again.

Ding! Dong!

After 45 minutes of waiting for everyone to arrive and be quiet, the Safety Drill lasted about 3 minutes. I blinked and almost missed it.