E-Shopping Blues

     Since I was recovering from pneumonia just before Christmas, I did most of my shopping on-line. On-line shopping is a great invention. I heartily recommend it, as long as you are careful what you are shopping for. My family makes out wish lists on Amazon.com, which is very helpful when you need a gift. I imagine that started in this way: 

Oodles of Underwear

     Cory: Hey, Jeff, what did you get from Mom and George for Christmas? 
     Jeff: Socks, underwear, a new toothbrush, shirts, pants. The usual. 

A Trove of Toothbrushes

     Cory: Yeah, me too. I have a pile of underwear that could rival the landfill near Quiet Waters Park. 
     Jeff: Me, too. How much underwear can you wear at one time, anyway? I have an idea. Let's do an Amazon.com Wish List for Mom to look at. Then we can get cool electronic stuff that we REALLY need! 

Another good idea is born!

     Cory: Great!

  
     And the wish list was born. So now shopping is easy.

These toilets are made from dollar bills!

For that personalized traditional ornament.

      It's  easier for my sister, who likes anything tacky like horrible movies and things with toilet-related themes, such as tree ornaments, etc. 


     This year, I had no more than the usual shopping stress online. Of course, there are the ratings to fill out so that the vendors can get their online compliments. I must admit that I felt a trifle weird filling out the survey on my sister's gift, a computer mouse pad with "Paging Dr. Doody" on it, a steaming picture of dog doody on it. It was from the Mr. Poo Company, in case you are interested.
     The hardest thing I tried to do was to find a dress for my son's wedding online. Whatever possessed me to do that I don't know. I think I was still on some heavy duty meds from my hospital stay.
     I searched and searched for a dress that would make me look like Jennifer Aniston or even just Phyllis Diller, but it was an uphill battle. Finally I found a 2 piece dress that looked good, was the right size and was pretty. 
     I took a gamble on it.  The dress was beautiful. The chiffon skirt was very pretty and the beaded top lovely. And the price? Excellent! I oh'ed and ah'ed as I removed it from its package. I hurried to try it on.
     I could not get it down past my neck without severe respiratory difficulty. So sad. 

A Cardinal Ruler

The Cardinals Rule?

Cardinal

     So I packed it up and sent it back to the seller, explaining my dilemma. (You can see the letter in an earlier post). Today I got not one, but 2 strongly worded emails from the seller. Not only had I broken a Cardinal Rule by sending it to her without permission, but it now had magically developed a stain on the unworn skirt.  So she wanted to charge me a 20.00 restocking fee and have the dress cleaned. If there was any refund left, she would send it to me albeit grudgingly. 

     Oh, and...she hoped that I would give her a good rating on the E-Bay listing. When pigs fly, baby!

Shopping for Shoes

Shoe Lover Closet

     Well, I must admit that I am not one of those people that goes crazy over shoes. In fact, if I could, I would go barefoot all the time. The first thing that goes off on walking in the house is the shoes. (The second is the bra, if you don't know that already.) So shoes don't mean a lot to me.

Chinese Foot Binding

     My feet were never meant to be encased. They are rather odd looking. I am not sure what a doctor would say about them but they look as though I lived in the Chinese foot-binding culture for a period of time during my formative years. 

All I know is that when I visit a new doctor, he/she stops at my feet and looks at them again. Then they look at me and write something down on their chart. I have never asked what they wrote. Sometimes it's better not to know.
     I cannot wear heels and most shoes are uncomfortable on me. So when I find a shoe I like, I buy it in every color and wear it day after day until it begs for mercy. My latest pair are begging to be let go into that great shoe heaven in the sky, where all good soles eventually end up.
     So I headed out to the nearest store that carries my brand. I don't want to divulge the name brand but it rhymes with "fetch her." Those are the only shoes I wear for comfort. And there is only one model of those that I like. And it seems that everyone else likes it too because the stores never have it.

     Anyway the store was wild today. You would have thought it was the week before Christmas. I spied one salesgirl who was being "owned" by a needy woman who wanted to tell her about her trip to Disney World. So I proceeded through crowded aisles, trying to move through a sea of people, many of whom were on cell phones not talking about shoes. Since there were no sales people, other than the trapped one, visible, people were getting creative to get help. One man was lifting his little daughter by the legs way up high and she could reach boxes off the high shelves. I wanted to rent her for a bit but she was in high demand. Another lady started to climb a ladder and lo and behold! A sales man appeared to tell her not to climb the ladder.
     "Only the sales staff should climb the ladder!" he exclaimed.
     "Fine!" she said. "Find me a salesman." Message received: If you want to get a clerk, start climbing a ladder. If you have a crutch or cane with you, carry it up the ladder also. You'll get help darn fast.

Soles for Shoe Heaven

     After a few more minutes of aimless bumping into people, we left. I came home, found the shoes on sale and ordered them online.  Once I ascertain that they are truly the ones I want, I will order them in every color and I am set. My current pair will make their way to Shoe Heaven.