OMG you are going to say. A post from Jeanne Kraus! Where has she been? Well, I am back and hopefully will continue to be. What dragged me out again? 

                             Resignation To The Way Things Are.

     I was at a party the other day and one of the guests remarked that it was nice and noteworthy that there was no one busy on their cell phone, no one texting, not one had even taken their phone out during the day. And we were talking with each other. Of course this was a get-together for baby boomer aged adults, and no one under 45 was invited.

     I reflected on that comment. It was true. We all focused on each other, and had no use for the cell phones that often take over today's get-togethers.

     For the first time though, I sort of understand it. I agree that I liked it better when we all talked, played games, interacted, but the world has changed. And we are sounding a bit like our parents, “What’s the matter with you listening to that long hair beatle music and watching that whipper-snapper twist his hips?” The truth is, we don’t like the current social groups because we are not used to them, we did not grow up with them, and our way is always the best.

     So I am trying to understand the fascination with the games online, and the tweeting and the texting and the emailing. And I admit there is something magical about texting your son and having him come on in about a minute and less and answer your comment. So its not all bad, just different.

            

                 But here’s my top ten of irritations of the cell phone age.

1

        People talking on cell phones in restaurants while their family sits quietly  by, waiting for them to finish. Nearby tables are also waiting.

        People who HAVE to answer their call, even if they are in line to pay for their groceries and do the whole process juggling groceries, car keys, credit card and phone.

       People who talk on speaker phones in public so you can REALLY hear everything.

       People in meetings who always have have to take phone calls during the meeting. Their ring tones are loud renditions of marching sounds that will forever play out in my brain as earworms.

      People who totally ignore signs in Dr. offices, asking for all cell phones to be turned off.

    People who are on the cellphone as they are driving. (cars, bikes, what-not)

    People who are on the cellphone as they have "quality" time with their child.

    People who wear earpieces on their ears permanently because their calls are extremely important.

         People who are texting while you are having a conversation with them.

    Trying to pretend that you do not hear the intimate conversation going on with the stranger next to you.

     So don't misunderstand. I have a cell phone and I know how to use it. Well, sort of. Most of it is a mystery. You won't see me carry it everywhere with me because there is rarely anything of that importance that cannot wait. The best things about cell phones?

     You don't have to get out of the car to find a phone booth.

     You don't have a party line.

     There is no cord attached to them!

     And they come in more than just basic black.    

     

Perspective!

Perspective

     What happens as we get older? To our perspective, I mean. It appears that judgement is clouded at certain times in your life. I remember in middle school wearing a hot pink A-line skirt (just below the knee). I paired it with a beige blouse with the ever-so-popular roll-up sleeves of the 60s. I wore it over and over, convinced that it was really cool. As was my Ben Casey blouse. Now I realize that someone should have taken it and burned it when I wasn't looking.

  

     As a young lady, the only hair color that I liked was to put auburn highlights in my dark brown hair. Never considered anything else. When the current palette of colors came out, I thought they were way out there. Kids sported them and then I started to see adults adding on other colors to their hair. Now, I find myself thinking that those little purple or blue streaks are kind of pretty. Not that it would work for me, I am sticking to basic gray.

     When braces came out in coordinating colors, I was taken aback. Braces should be functional, not a fashion statement. Now I find myself prodding children, "And what color are your braces?"

 But the most evident of my attitude change was toward tattoos. I have always been a tattoo avoider. I always believed that if your kids grew up without a variety of rings piercing various parts of their bodies, and without tattoos, that maybe they have safely made it to adulthood. When my youngest got a tattoo on his arm, it changed my 

perspective. Why? It was a really meaningful thing to him and it was beautiful, like artwork. Not that I really want him to go out and tat the rest of his body, but I can handle this one. 

     When I think of all the fads I lived through, it seems that what is going on today is just more of the same. Beehives, flips and pageboys, hot pants, bell bottoms, mullets and mohawks( eesh!) all played their parts in my younger days. 

    I just wish....the low sagging pants would go away. I'm over seeing the boxer shorts of every teen in town. Pull em up guys. Save our eyesight.

I don't want to be a buttinsky but why?

Pee to Be You and Me

The holidays are over and we are trying to get back to normal. After my Daughter in Law Number #1 noted that our place looks like an episode on Hoarders, we have continued our efforts to empty the extra crap we have from trying to meld two houses into one. It is a painstaking job. Especially in getting George to throw stuff out or sell it.
"Well, what is this big black thing under the bed?" I ask.
"Oh that is my guitar."
I stare at him unblinkingly. "Guitar? You have a guitar? I have known you for 15 years and I never knew you had a guitar? Do you think maybe we could find a new home for it?"
No answer, but the guitar is tucked more firmly under the bed where I cannot see it without getting into  one of those pretzel formations with my body.

Fortunately, Jeff, my son, and I believe in improving our minds when we are together. Our catalyst this year was that his wife ordered asparagus for dinner when we went out.  Of course this started the "Why does asparagus make your pee smell funny?" We found out a lot of interesting facts that you will want to know.

1. Post-asparagus odor has been observed for centuries. French novelist Marcel Proust noted that asparagus transformed his chamber-pot into a perfume flask.


2. A British Men's Club also posted a sign that asked members to restrain themselves during the asparagus season and not relieve themselves in the hat stand. Or hats.

3. In 1891 a scientist convinced 4 men to eat 3.5 pounds of asparagus each and measured the smell, determining that there was a chemical that caused the distinct odor.

4. According to WebMD, the issue is not whether your body generates the smell but if you have the special gene that allows you to smell it.

5. Approximately 22% of people have the ability to smell their own asparagus fumes. As stated in nbcnews.com, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, in a great work of modern literature, "Love in the Time of Cholera", wrote..."Even when it was not the season for asparagus, it had to be found regardless of cost so that he could take pleasure in the vapors of his own fragrant urine."

Hmm. I wish to thank my daughter-in-law, Shannon, for inspiring me on this journey of pee discovery. I did not ask her if she was a member of the 22% club when she came back from the restroom. But I suspect she may be.

Family Togetherness at Christmas

I love being with my family at Christmas. We truly have time to talk. The last 2 days I have been having my long-missed philosophical discussions with my oldest son, Jeff, who is now 35 years old. He has definite opinions on everything, most of them contrary to mine.

A half hour discussion emerged because I had confessed to him that I have indeed lost our family rubber chicken, which we pass to each other stealthily, each trying not to be the one to end up with R.C. at the end of the visit. Jeff did not believe me that I had misplaced R.C. and thinks it is a red herring to make him feel confident that he will not need to worry about returning to Orlando with a rubber chicken hidden in his underwear.

Substitute Less Desirable Rubber Chicken

Even when I went out and bought a substitute rubber chicken, a less desirable version, at Party City, yesterday he staunchly refused to believe that the other rubber chicken will somehow find its way aboard his vehicle after Christmas.

But that is not all we talked about. When I mentioned that the rubber chicken's feet looked backward, he told me that is what chicken feet look like. We surfed the net for a good 30 minutes looking at real chicken feet and rubber chicken feet. What do you think?

Missing Rubber Chicken (last photo)

Real Chicken Foot

The Last Garage Sale

Today George and I reached a milestone in our marriage. It was the day of our last garage sale...ever. As we trudged around in the afternoon sun, sweating and toiling we became aware that our wages for said garage sale netted us about 5.00 per hour. Plus I had to miss a tutoring session because of utter exhaustion, which would have netted me much more than the garage sale time I put in. 

And the really sad thing is that we appear to have more crap than when we started. We no longer have any pathway in our garage to walk through. So we are starting our process of recycling, giving away, advertising and leaving it on the curb in case someone will come by and take it from our bulk pick-up. 

But here is the good part. The best part of today was the people we met. Neighbors in our community that I now consider as friends. People from the FreeCycle Network online that were just names to me before. And some surprising behavior. 

When George and I have a garage sale, we truly want to get rid of the stuff. We don't want to haggle, we want it out of there, causing us to put some pretty low prices on stuff, even a free section for our fellow FreeCyclers. That was difficult for people. I would say about 5-7 people refused our low prices and insisted on giving us more. We were giving away a little old table that was scarred and of no use to us. Shopper: How much is this table? George: It is one of our free items. Feel free to take it. Shopper: No, really. How much? George: Please take it. You are doing us a favor. Shopper: I am not doing that. Here's 5.00 for the table. And this happened several more times. It was way cool that people wanted to be fair.

But we still don't want any more garage sales!

Deception

     Now that we have my mother-in-law (MIL) safe and sound we find that we are having to resort to deception more than is comfortable. It is almost as though the crafty lady is finding ways to test our loyalty. Examples of our conversations will show you what I am talking about.
     MIL: "You know those white slippers I have with the leather soles? Bring them next time."
     I assume a look of desperation that I share with George. We just threw these slippers out. They were in disgusting shape and we wanted to get rid of them before they walked out on their own. My response:
     Me: "Oh, I am so sorry. I had to throw them out. The cat peed on them and they were no good. Your cat."

     Then there was... "I will be coming home for Christmas. I have been working hard to eat well and gain weight. I will be fine to come home. I can stay at the house and we will have Christmas dinner together."
     Of course we were planning to come and pick her up for Christmas dinner but we are also planning to bring her back to her new home that evening. After all, we have had to totally redo her bedroom, replacing the carpet with tile and we boxed up her things as best we could.  I am sure she thinks it still has the hospital bed and the potty in the corner.
     When we go visit we are treated to a litany of negative comments, most of which are untrue. 
     Her roommate has a man come in and sleep with her in her bed.
     One of the residents sleeps with a different man each night.

     The nurses are too busy.
     We don't visit enough. Some families come every hour.
     The nurses should do everything for free. It would be right.
     All of the patients speak Latvian (her native language.)
       Last time I was there, I told her that if we were going to come and visit, that she needed to find some positive things to say. This is what she came up with:
     Someone did her hair and nails for her (for free!) Lol.
     She is eating well. She gets to the bathroom herself without needing help.
     Everything is clean there.

     Things are looking up!
        

A New Me!

    For the 5-6 of you who were avidly following my blog, you may have had to hypothesize what happened to me since my last entry? As you may/may not recall, I had a nasty fall on May 15th, resulting in a very bruised face, sore body and badly broken femur. 4 months in an immobilizer and I was ready to climb the walls. At the same time, my mother-in-law (hereafter referred to as MIL) developed a painful case of shingles. 
     George, my husband, heroically tended to both of us, aided by a caregiver who came almost every day for a while. I moved into her house to make things easier for him. 

     It did not help. He developed a bad case of pneumonia which required 2 hospitalizations and surgery. Once he was hospitalized, my 90 year old MIL started acting up for attention. (Picture the mom on Everyone Loves Raymond). 

At one point I had her in one hospital and George in another. The difference was that there was nothing wrong with her. Unfortunately, I was still walking with a cane, walker, whatever. On one of my trips to visit George I fell again in the hospital driveway, because of the tropical storm we had attracted to South Florida. 
     By this time the MIL had moved in with us and was creating all kinds of difficulties for me. She could not be left alone so that limited my time away to when the care giver was there. Several times she ran out of the house, yelling for help and that she was being kept in a dungeon. She even called the police.
 We put alarms on the doors. We lasted for about 3-4 months and then selected an assisted living facility for her.

      We are now back to the normal everyday worries of paying for everything. We think she will engineer an escape eventually from the nursing home, but they will handle it. Of course, we are caring for her cat, a black cat who is not adjusting well. We have 2 cats of our own and of course, our wiener dog. Her cat has developed some hair thinning probably due to stress. He also is very offended that my cats find his litter box to be the  Toilette Extraordinaire!
  Everyone wants to use it, so he poops right in front of it on the tile floor. There is a bit of hissing and growling going on, reminiscent of MIL herself. 

      In the meantime, my third children's book, Get Ready for Jetty! came out in September. It is a journal style book about a young girl with ADD and her struggles to be accepted and feel good about herself. I think I need to write a book about my struggles over this last year. Both George and I are doing much better now. I am very careful walking and take no chances, hoping no more falls.