The never-ending subject of panties captures your attention again. This time, the ever-handy panty helps to guide an arctic expedition to its ultimate destination. (Get your mind out of the gutter right now.) This is an article I found on gizmodo.com, which I think has some very good articles on the usefulness of panties.
I am happy to say that panties have been responsible for guiding people to where they need to go. (Why does everything sound like a double entendre?) Like seeing eye dogs, compasses, and GPS systems, panties are an inexpensive and clever way to find your way home. (Oops, there it is again!)
The Catlin Arctic Survey Team takes this low-tech apparel to help them find their way in the freezing waters of the Arctic. Lacy panties at that. I am pretty sure they are not Manties. (See earlier post) The panties billow out like a sail, or wind sock, attached to a ski pole to guide the team to the North Pole. As you can imagine, the magnetic field disallows the use of a compass. The GPS freezes in that cold weather. I can just see the conversation.
Navigator # 1: "Damn. Our GPS is frozen. How are we going to find ourself around this God-forsaken ice shelf?"
Navigator #2: "I know. Let's use my handy-dandy compass I got when I was a girl scout."
Navigator #3: "You know compasses don't work here. We are near the North Pole. Where did you study science anyway?"
Navigator #2:"You don't have to be mean. Hey I have an idea. Let's use my panties."
And so, in MacGyver-like fashion, the Panties Directional Guides were born. I'm ordering one for my car antenna.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Look! Up in the Air! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Panties!
As I promised you in my last blog, the subject of panties can be a fascinating one. This is from an article By Charlie Sorrel, who wrote about Flying Panties.
"Flying panties?" you say in disbelief. "Where on earth could you find flying panties?"
And of course we all know the answer, where all the cool things are....in Japan. If you should happen to be in Tokyo on March 6th, look up into the sky. You'll see hundreds of pairs of panties. The panties are made into ornithopters, which will all be launched at the same time.
OK you are not sure what an ornithopter is, but you know panties flying around when you see them. Ornithopters are flying machines that flap wings to fly, instead of using a propellor. These machines are powered by rubber bands. Kits will be on sale to make your own to let fly on March 6th.
The author goes on to say that it is a promotional stunt for publicity for a Japanese manga cartoon. Just in case you wonder, other flying machines will be launched at the same time but I don't think they will be nearly as interesting.
As for me, I am wondering if any studies have been done on which panties fly best? cotton or nylon? manties or panties? thongs or briefs? high rise or low rise? There is much more to be learned about panty aviation.
"Flying panties?" you say in disbelief. "Where on earth could you find flying panties?"
And of course we all know the answer, where all the cool things are....in Japan. If you should happen to be in Tokyo on March 6th, look up into the sky. You'll see hundreds of pairs of panties. The panties are made into ornithopters, which will all be launched at the same time.
OK you are not sure what an ornithopter is, but you know panties flying around when you see them. Ornithopters are flying machines that flap wings to fly, instead of using a propellor. These machines are powered by rubber bands. Kits will be on sale to make your own to let fly on March 6th.
The author goes on to say that it is a promotional stunt for publicity for a Japanese manga cartoon. Just in case you wonder, other flying machines will be launched at the same time but I don't think they will be nearly as interesting.
As for me, I am wondering if any studies have been done on which panties fly best? cotton or nylon? manties or panties? thongs or briefs? high rise or low rise? There is much more to be learned about panty aviation.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Under Where?
OK, once again the topic of underwear has crept up on me and formed an uncomfortable wedgie that will not go away until I have blogged useless information to you, the reader. Only then can I ease my mind of the images and the What ifs? that assail my imagination.
First on my list of hot researched topics is something called "manties." These are promoted on a website for panties for men. They are panties that any woman would be proud to wear, satiny-looking and ruffly, delicate and ultra-lite. But they are for men. As the advertisement states, Panties are for women; Manties are for men!
They are suggested for use on wedding nights, anniversary gifts, even retirement gifts. They even have the Manties of the week collection, so that you can have a pair for every day. I admit I am having a chuckle or two picturing my husband strutting around in Manties. Especially on our wedding night.
Now that I have totally grossed you out, be sure to tune in the next few days for some interesting information about panties used for technological purposes, aerial races, and sold on auction!
First on my list of hot researched topics is something called "manties." These are promoted on a website for panties for men. They are panties that any woman would be proud to wear, satiny-looking and ruffly, delicate and ultra-lite. But they are for men. As the advertisement states, Panties are for women; Manties are for men!
They are suggested for use on wedding nights, anniversary gifts, even retirement gifts. They even have the Manties of the week collection, so that you can have a pair for every day. I admit I am having a chuckle or two picturing my husband strutting around in Manties. Especially on our wedding night.
Now that I have totally grossed you out, be sure to tune in the next few days for some interesting information about panties used for technological purposes, aerial races, and sold on auction!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
To Pee or Not to Pee
I get a bit of flack from reviewers every now and then for mentioning the "p" word. I don't get it. We all do it, it is part of daily life, get over it. The latest information I have found, though, is that it is being used for fun and games. Let's travel to Japan, where "Streaming Video" has taken on a new meaning.
I credit this information to my sister, who sent it to me earlier this month. It seems that the Japanese, according to some sources, have developed video games in the bathroom.
"So what?" you say. "My kids do that all the time."
According to my excellent sources, these mini-games are hooked up to the urinals and the speed of the game is controlled by the player's urinary efficiency. Yup! The more powerful your stream, the more points you get. A sensor inside the toilet will send the urinary stream information to a screen above the urinal for a visual display.
One of the games I have heard about is "Mannekin Pis" which is a pee calculator.
Another is "Graffiti Eraser," where players try to blast graffiti off a wall with the power of their stream.
The other one is "North Wind and Her" where the participants try to "pee like the wind" and attempt to lift a woman's dress with their powerful urine streams.
I have some concerns. Obviously this whole system is gender impaired because of the differences in the female anatomy. We have no "hose."
In addition, how will they account for splashing? Powerful streams can be rather random in their landing.
I credit this information to my sister, who sent it to me earlier this month. It seems that the Japanese, according to some sources, have developed video games in the bathroom.
"So what?" you say. "My kids do that all the time."
According to my excellent sources, these mini-games are hooked up to the urinals and the speed of the game is controlled by the player's urinary efficiency. Yup! The more powerful your stream, the more points you get. A sensor inside the toilet will send the urinary stream information to a screen above the urinal for a visual display.
One of the games I have heard about is "Mannekin Pis" which is a pee calculator.
Another is "Graffiti Eraser," where players try to blast graffiti off a wall with the power of their stream.
The other one is "North Wind and Her" where the participants try to "pee like the wind" and attempt to lift a woman's dress with their powerful urine streams.
I have some concerns. Obviously this whole system is gender impaired because of the differences in the female anatomy. We have no "hose."
In addition, how will they account for splashing? Powerful streams can be rather random in their landing.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Trashy Words
It seems that Lake Superior State University in Michigan has the last say on which words should be eliminated from our vocabularies. The annual list that they compose is a variety of overused and misused terms that they deem no longer worthy of being said or written. I'm kind of liking this idea.
Leading the list for 2011 is viral, which I am in agreement with. Videos go viral, songs go viral. In fact, the use of the word itself has gone viral. The word epic was a runner up. I do hear that a lot.
There were some cliched terms that I would have flushed a long time ago....the wow factor, aha moment, and BFF. The use of Facebook and Google as verbs also received disdainful notice. Come on, now? Haven't you ever googled something?
Man up got a thumbs down which they labeled as a stupid phrase for men and especially for women. Other phrases that made the list are the American people,I'm just sayin', and live life to the fullest.
Don't blame me for this news. I'm as guilty as heck for repeating some of these annoying words. I'm just sayin'...
Leading the list for 2011 is viral, which I am in agreement with. Videos go viral, songs go viral. In fact, the use of the word itself has gone viral. The word epic was a runner up. I do hear that a lot.
There were some cliched terms that I would have flushed a long time ago....the wow factor, aha moment, and BFF. The use of Facebook and Google as verbs also received disdainful notice. Come on, now? Haven't you ever googled something?
Man up got a thumbs down which they labeled as a stupid phrase for men and especially for women. Other phrases that made the list are the American people,I'm just sayin', and live life to the fullest.
Don't blame me for this news. I'm as guilty as heck for repeating some of these annoying words. I'm just sayin'...
Back in the Real World
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| It's Not Nice to Fool With Mother Nature! |
It only got better. I learned about tweeting and twirping and facebooking and publishing and such. I caught up with Elaine Landau, our 340+ books to her credit author, who just amazed me by presenting me with a book that was dedicated to ME....moi....little 'ol Jeanne Kraus. Wow!
The Dragonslayer Ball was also a hoot, all these people, many famous and not-so-famous writers, dancing in costume and acting pretty much like, well, like fools. But it was fun!
I got home, came down from my conference high and just spent 20 minutes on the phone with a man from the Southeast part of the world (he had a very heavy accent) that wanted to help me open a credit card. Part of the conversation went thus....
Man: "Con I ask you if you dibiglleliiigutinhagen flor?"
Me: "Um, what did you say?"
Man: "Do you filanthrogin finapplinhoppicanten?"
Me: "Yes. Whatever." I guess I will find out what I agreed to in the next few days. Meanwhile, I am writing.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Book Talk
I had a new experience this week. I went to a Book Talk. "Hah!" you say. "New experience, indeed. Why, I have been to millions of those. I watched Oprah all the time. I got books coming out the wazoo...."
Before you get carried away with colorful and possibly offensive language, let me reassure you that this was not just a book talk, in the theoretical sense of the word. This is a the kind of book talk that if you look it up in Webster's New World Dictionary, you will see a picture of my book, Wrinkles, Waistlines and Wet Pants.
'Tis true. I went to a Book Talk all about my own book. What a cool concept and what an honor it was. First of all, having 10 or so women all in the same room who were willing to read my book ahead of time and talk about it. Positively. Laughing. Enjoying themselves and making me laugh at their comments and stories. It is what authors dream about. Instant audience. An audience that related.
They were there in the moment with me. Did I have to tell them the significance of Wet Pants in the title? No! Did I have to explain my uber-embarrassing life episodes that glue my stories together? No! They had stories of their own that rivaled the most humiliating of mine. I could have written a book that night.
Funny thing about the book talk. It was a bit more talk than book. Oh, we talked about some of the situations in the book...Did you really get a hunk of beef stuck in your throat? How do you pee in a thermos?... but they connected so much with my experiences that I learned a lot about them. The other great part about a Book Talk is the fantastic feast that went with it. Thanks, girls! You made my day!
Before you get carried away with colorful and possibly offensive language, let me reassure you that this was not just a book talk, in the theoretical sense of the word. This is a the kind of book talk that if you look it up in Webster's New World Dictionary, you will see a picture of my book, Wrinkles, Waistlines and Wet Pants.
'Tis true. I went to a Book Talk all about my own book. What a cool concept and what an honor it was. First of all, having 10 or so women all in the same room who were willing to read my book ahead of time and talk about it. Positively. Laughing. Enjoying themselves and making me laugh at their comments and stories. It is what authors dream about. Instant audience. An audience that related.
They were there in the moment with me. Did I have to tell them the significance of Wet Pants in the title? No! Did I have to explain my uber-embarrassing life episodes that glue my stories together? No! They had stories of their own that rivaled the most humiliating of mine. I could have written a book that night.
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